Contact Us

We'd love to hear from you. (Actually, we'd love to hear what you're upset about. It's kind of our thing.)

Use the form below to reach our Customer Non-Satisfaction Department. Whether you have a question about a scent, want to report a delayed shipment, or simply need to let us know that the marshmallow note in "Motion for More Marshmallows" isn't fluffy enough for your liking — we're listening. Closely. With a pen in hand.

Please note:

We respond within 2–3 business days, or approximately 47 minutes after you've already left a one-star review.

If you are contacting us to speak to a manager, please know that you already are.

Legal threats are welcome but will be read aloud during our team's lunch break for entertainment purposes.

For general inquiries: hello@gourmandgrievancesco.com

For wholesale or retail complaints disguised as inquiries: wholesale@gourmandgrievancesco.com

To file a formal grievance (highly encouraged): grievances@gourmandgrievancesco.com

For matters requiring immediate passive aggression: Please do not call. Send a carrier pigeon. Or better yet, fill out our [Compliment Complaint Form] and we'll get back to you never.

Office Hours (such as they are): Day Status

Monday: Open (reluctantly) 

Tuesday: Open (grievously)

Wednesday: Closed for emotional baking

Thursday: Open (judgmentally)

Friday–Sunday: Out of office, but still thinking about what you said

Privacy note: We will never sell your information. We will, however, frame your angriest email and hang it in the break room. It's called morale.